Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Better Tomorrows

I want to tell you about a couple I knew in Birmingham. When I got to know them, they had been married about 10 years. They were married while he was in Med School and she was a Kindergarten teacher. They were infertile for years and she had numerous miscarriages. As you can imagine, it was a difficult time for them. I was lucky enough to get to be around them later when they had two small children and had a brand-new large house. I can tell you about the pool house with the fire place that was great to be in during the winter.

I could tell you about the downstairs apartment that they had built so that people that needed a place to land could land there. They (I know of this one) reached out woman who was pregnant and going though a divorce and allowed her to live with them for awhile. They loved so freely. I'll never forget the note she sent me when I went through my miscarriage. Godly people.

I tell you all this to tell you one other thing about them. When they married they pledged to go to one marriage seminar/conference a year. They had kept that pledge during their 12 (approx) years of marriage. Yes, they are busy people. Yes, they have 2 children. Yes, they have other things to spend their money on.

This was such a powerful example for me when Jim and I married. We haven't gone to one seminar a year but we wish we could. That's just one reason we were there when we had that Sacred Marriage Seminar at church this weekend. We made a commitment to be married to each other for the rest of our lives and we want that to be something we don't regret. We've agreed that our children will grow up and move away but we'll still be together. Forty to fifty years is a long time to be with someone who you don't like. We don't go because our marriage is rocky. We go to keep it from getting there. We want to pick up the pebbles and examine them. (Well, maybe I want to examine the pebbles and Jim wants to know what I'm talking about.)

I tell you this so that when the opportunity arises again - you'll step out and attend some marriage seminar. Something that makes you want to roll your eyes a little. Something that makes you uncomfortable because "other people would know." Something that's inconvenient with your (or your child's) schedule. Something that makes you look your mate in the eye and confess your sin. Friends, better a little embarrassment and inconvenience than a cold, joyless lifetime.

6 comments:

Anne Jones said...

Amen, and Amen!

Love you girl! :)

Sarah said...

Yes, ma'am! Go and learn before you wish you had known!

Melene said...

What an awesome post.

mimi said...

I am SO very proud of both of you and SO glad our son found you. Love you both.

Dee O'Neil Andrews said...

I taught a class for a while in Slidell from a book and accompanying workbook titled "Magnificent Marriage" by a couple of guys at Faulkner (Christian) University" in Montgomery and it's a great book and workbook for a Sunday school class or outreach class for the community and I would highly recommend it to you all, Denise.

I have no take it in, but we did it as an outreach class into the community in Slidell and the response was great! There are a lot of people out there who really DO want to stay married and to work on their marriages and we can reach out to them as Christians if we just will.

TRY IT - you'll see. I got certified to teach the course and it was very beneficial not only to me but to all of those I taught and I was very happy to be able to do it.

Cheers & Blessings to you all today! Dee

Anonymous said...

Oh, the joys of raising a daughter.

MM