I'm posting two funnys I've been sent lately. Both of these crack me up! Enjoy a smile or a grin today!
The Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this
congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God
and this Christian family." No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel glory. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again all was quiet. Then slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke, "Reverend there
has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of
the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets." The preacher fainted, and the congregation roared!
A man walked into a very high-tech bar. As he sat down on a stool henoticed that the bartender was a robot. The robot clicked to attentionand asked, "Sir, what will you have?"
The man thought a moment then replied? "A martini please."The robot clicked a couple of times and mixed the best martini the manhad ever had. The robot then asked, "sir, what is your IQ?
"The man answered "oh, about 164." The robot then proceeded to
discuss the 'theory of relativity', 'inter-stellar space travel', 'the latest
medical break through, etc.......
The man was most impressed. He left the bar but thought he would try adifferent tact. He returned and took a seat. Again the robot clickedand asked what he would have? "A Martini please."& Again it was superb.The robot again asked "what is your IQ sir?"
This time the man answered , "Oh about 100". So the robot starteddiscussing NASCAR racing, the latest basketball scores, and what toexpect the Dodgers to do this week end.
The guy had to try it one more time. So he left, returned and took astool.... Again a martini, and the question, "What is your IQ?"??This time the man drawled out " Uh..... bout 50".The robot clicked then leaned close and very slowly asked ,
"A-r-e y-o-u-r p-e-o-p-l-e g-o-i-n-g t-o n-o-m-i-n-a-t-e H-i-l-l-a-r-y-?????